Hrísey

Last month, we took a road trip up north to a tiny island called Hrísey. There was an Icelandic equivalent to a Groupon offer on one of the local websites, which included the ferry ride to the island, one night stay at a guesthouse (the only guest house) on the island, breakfast, entrance to a museum there, and a tour on a tractor around the island, and we couldn’t pass it up. It was quite fun.

The drive to the ferry that takes you to Hrísey is nearly four hours by car from Reykjavik along route one (also known as the Ring Road, since it expands around the edge of Iceland). Hrísey is en route to the second largest “city” in Iceland, Ákuyreri. We took a bit of a detour on the way there to navigate around one of the northern peninsulas, which was really quite breathtaking. There were views of the west fjörds and their snowcaps, as well as some eery terrain. I suppose it’s not very difficult to find eery terrain here, but it’s always breathtaking, nonetheless.

There were many baby sheep with their mamas running around the landscape (sheep get to wander around quite a bit in this country, which is something I hadn’t seen before moving here), as well as the occasional Icelandic horse.

When we arrived at the port from which we were to take the ferry to Hrísey, I was struck by how close to the mainland the island is situated. The tiny ferry only takes around 15 minutes to get there, and you can’t take your car on board (there’s really no need to, anyway). Approximately 160 people live on this tiny island, something quite extraordinary if one really thinks about it. Why live on such a tiny, isolated island when you can live on a larger one so close by?

After speaking with the owners of the guest house that we stayed in (the only guest house on the island), we quickly learned that most of the current inhabitants of the island are older / retired, or own summer houses there, and thus don’t live on the island year-round. One family apparently takes the 7 AM ferry to work in Akureyri every day. I imagine that in older times, this island was a bit more populated, as it was once heavily driven by the fishing industry.

Looking at old photographs inside Hrísey’s museum, this seems clear. I’m not sure if the families of fishermen were driven away due to the crazy system of fishing quotas that exists here, or if its prior inhabitants were simply driven to other fields due to industrialization reaching the country. What is left of this island, which is really quite lovely in the summertime, are a few populated streets with some pretty stunning views.

There is also a small pool with a hot tub overlooking the fjörd, which we made a point to soak in on Sunday morning. I’m not sure that I would make a day trip of this again (only because of the four-hour drive to and from Reykjavík), but I would highly recommend this destination to anyone traveling to the north.

Posted in outings, travel iceland | Tagged |

Blue Nights

Joan Didion John Dunne Quintana RooPhoto of Joan Didion, John Gregory Dunne, and Quintana Roo Dunne in Malibu in 1976 via her publisher.

I’ve become slightly obsessed with Joan Didion in recent days. Over the long weekend, I started reading my first book of hers, Blue Nights, which, I realized, happens to be the last that she will likely ever write. I also realized only after I finished it, with so many questions about the circumstances surrounding the tragic death of her only daughter, Quintana Roo, from a mysterious illness at the age of 39, that I was not alone with my curiosity. So I turned to Google to help fill me in, only I had little luck with finding many answers. Instead, I found several articles devoted to this very topic, to Joan Didion personally, to her writing, to the questions left unanswered in her book.

I’m a latecomer to Didion’s writings, though I’ve known of her for quite some time, and have listened to stories about how her writings have transformed other women’s lives. “She is able to capture so succinctly the very fears that young women today face,” my friends would tell me. “To read her is to feel relieved that this is also something that I’ve felt, too.”

I don’t quite know how to put into words how I feel about Blue Nights. It is written as an essay in a manner similar to the way I’d imagine Joan would speak to me herself, were we sitting fireside and sipping mixed drinks from glass tumblers. Although, the more I read about Didion, the more I wonder whether she would ever be able to socialize with me in this manner at all. It seems unlikely. Or rather, it seems more likely that the inner thoughts unearthed in her books supplant any need for Joan Didion to express them personally — a one-sided conversation, if you will, from a person unwilling, or unable, to connect with anyone other than her late husband.

The book is a sort of elegy to her deceased child and to Didion’s own life as she ages. It’s sometimes an uncomfortably strange — although understandably related — mixture, though. (“When we talk about mortality, we’re talking about our children.”) Didon comes across at points in this book too self-conscious about sharing too much with us. As a result, her discussions of Quintana Roo sometimes feel like an afterthought. On the one hand, she has every right to share with us what she wants to about Quintana Roo. Who are we to say what is sufficient and what’s not? Still, I found myself not quite able to connect all of the dots in Blue Nights. Clearly, Didion questions her effectiveness as a parent to her child, and what parent wouldn’t under the circumstances she shares? But as others around the internet have already wondered, was Quintana an alcoholic who wasn’t adequately being treated, and is this what ultimately lead to her untimely death? If so, why does Didion not squarely confront this in her book?

In the last 24 hours, I’ve poured through articles on Didion, including this fascinating piece in The Atlantic, as well as this recent piece in New York Magazine. I’ve learned more about the power couple that Didion and her husband, John Gregory Dunne, comprised. I’ve learned a little more about their backgrounds, political leanings (Didion was a Republican who attended Berkeley and subsequently taught there during the 70’s), and affluence (though the latter is obvious in Blue Nights). But I’ve learned very little about her daughter, other than what I pieced together from Didion’s book: the fact of her death, the fact that she was adopted, the fact that she suffered from alcoholism or possibly mental illness — or both, the fact that she was a photographer before her death, the fact that she had married shortly before her death. Maybe that’s simply how it ought to be; maybe these details of her character are actually irrelevant — that the primary issue of importance are Didion’s feelings and her processing of her child’s life and death, but even that falls short in the book, I think.

Didion’s prose in Blue Nights, though, felt purposely vague — as if we were on the verge of witnessing a breakthrough, but missed it — and that felt strange to me. I haven’t yet read Slouching Towards Bethlehem and The White Album, which seem to have garnered her greatest following (and which, I’ve read, should be read prior to Blue Nights), but it seems to me that Didion was never one to not question or delve into the details. Now that I have a daughter of my own, I could not help but wonder while reading Blue Nights how I’d write under similar circumstances about my own daughter. I don’t particularly want to go there mentally, except to say that I think I’d want the reader to understand who my daughter was and the nature of our relationship in more than vague referential terms, but people mourn differently.

The main criticism that I’ve read about Joan Didion over the last few days is that she is a narcissist whose greatest shortcoming is her inability to connect with — or perhaps empathize — with her characters — many of whom apparently are based on those close to her — in a similar vein as her apparent inability to connect with people in ‘real life.’  But if her characters are mainly about herself, then what does that lack of empathy necessarily say about how Joan Didion feels about Joan Didion? It’s hard for me to conclude that I agree with this assessment, since I haven’t yet read any other of her essays or books (and also, what writers aren’t narcissists?), but I do find fascinating the idea that despite these alleged shortcomings that are mainly related to vanity, she has managed to maintain such a devoted following over the last few decades. Would a male author receive similar criticism?

I can only say that I admire Didion’s prose in Blue Nights, which has a habitual, almost hymnal rhythm to it, to go with her smoothly repeating vocabulary. I wouldn’t say that Blue Nights struck me as a raw, scorchingly honest self-search, though Didion is clearly critical of herself in it, doubting her own merits as a parent to Quintana Roo. It did leave me wondering more about Quintana and about Didion, and about all that was left unsaid in this book, and it made me want to read more of her work. So I suppose, in that sense, she succeeded with Blue Nights, — as all writers do, according to Didion — in selling someone out — I’m just not sure whether that person was Quintana or Didion herself.

Posted in literature | Tagged |

Good weather // Gott veður

To say that the weather has been glorious here as of late would be an understatement. The weather has been warm — summer-like, even according to my northeastern U.S. upbringing — with long, bright days full of golden sunshine, and temperatures warm enough to go outdoors bare legged. This is somewhat of an anomaly here, and much, much different than the summer that last year brought us. It’s usually not warm enough here to wear shorts during the summer, not that that stops anyone from basking in the fantasy of a warm summer day. But over the last week, it actually has been this warm, which has made staying indoors for things like sleep and work rather difficult.

Over the weekend, we tried to soak up as much sunshine and vitamin D as possible while it lasts. This is one thing that I’ve learned since moving here: when the weather is good, you take advantage of it, because it will not last for long. On Saturday, we drove out to Þingvellir for a picnic near the lake. The views were serenely beautiful. Rúbý isn’t very used to walking on grass, so she took great pleasure in running around and even falling on it, since it was so soft. The grass in some places, including where we parked ourselves, is not actually ‘grass’ as I’ve known it, but a sort of short, spongey, mossy grass — something almost resembling turf. It is ideal for kicking a ball around on, or, for a 15-month-old, navigating around.

On Sunday, I went for a hike in Mosfellsbær, up to the top of Úlfarsfell. It was a much steeper hike than I initially anticipated it would be — funny how something seems like little more than a hill at first glance when looking up from the bottom, but when you’re actually scaling it, it’s something else. When we reached the top, we were greeted by a shirtless man with his dog drinking a beer and sitting near — his car. It was then that we realized one with a proper SUV could actually drive up a rocky road located on the other side of the bluff. Ah, well. It was decent exercise anyway, and well worth the views. The sky was so clear that we could see Snæfellsjökull glacier in the distance. The descent was another story, as we took another downward route, only to find ourselves stepping towards a rocky ledge that would surely lead to a bad fall, were we to lose our footing. But, thanks to the mossy grass that smattered the landscape, we were able to avoid the loose gravel.

Looking up at Úlfarsfell

Walking up Úlfarsfell. Purple Alaskan lupine smatters the landscape.

A cairn spotted near the top.

Such a clear day! Snæfellsjökull glacier can be spotted in the distance.

A view from the top.

More cairns spotted, bringing good luck for our travels.

After our hike, we headed to the amazing Mosfellsbær pool, which includes three outdoor hot pots (jacuzzi’s/whirlpools), a giant indoor and outdoor pool, an enormous waterslide, and a separate children’s pool, all set with the Úlfarsfell and Esja in the background. Not a bad view!

This summer, I am vowing to get out more, especially now that Rúbý is old enough to be carried on our backs. It’s a good way to become familiarized with the surroundings here and all of the beauty that this country has to offer. I don’t ever want to take it for granted. But more importantly, I’m looking for a new meaning of summer. Where I come from, summers are comprised of hot, sweltering days with high humidity, frizzy hair and sticky skin, lemonade, sitting on porches listening to rain and thunder, lightning bugs, lying in a hammock for a nap or to read, and wearing flowy dresses with bare legs outside. Moving to a new place, you shift into a search mode of sorts, where you’re in constant lookout for new favorite places, whether they be cafés, restaurants, vintage stores, movie theaters, dusty old book stores, food marts, or whatever niches make you feel as though this is your ‘hood. They’re your places to go to for comfort and familiarity — your regular digs.

Now that I’ve been here for more than a year, I’m looking for places and things that feel familiar — even if they are a new kind of familiar — since so much is different here, and longing for comforts from back home won’t do me much good anymore.

Posted in outings, travel iceland | Tagged , , |

Heavy

My heart feels heavy knowing that, 33 years ago this morning, six-year-old Etan Patz disappeared on his way to the bus stop en route to school in the SoHo area of NYC, never to be heard from again, and that in recent days, his case has come full circle to a heartbreaking end. The NYPD arrested a man who has apparently confessed to luring the little boy into the basement of the bodega he worked for and then killing him. Etan’s disappearance happened at a time when parents still allowed their children to play or walk outside unattended — even in New York City. It was around this time that reality changed for families across the U.S. No longer was it deemed safe to let one’s child out of sight — a sad reality that continues today.

While I didn’t grow up in New York City, I remember hearing about Etan’s story at an early age. Throughout the years, there have been books and TV segments about his disappearance, which seems to have stood as a symbol for a transition in American culture from something safe and family-oriented to something more sinister. I remember that it was the first time Etan’s parents let him walk to his bus stop alone. I also recall reading that his parents stayed in their apartment on Prince Street — and continue to reside on the same street, just a few doors down, to this day — in the hopes that their son might someday return to them.

This story has always struck me as deeply tragic — as all child vanishings are — but revisiting the story now that I am a parent makes me feel particularly sick. I cannot imagine the pain and agony that Etan’s parents have gone through all of these years, not only with the actual disappearance of their son and the lack of answers surrounding what happened to him, but with the constant re-opening of their wounds from the investigations, the fruitless leads, the civil trial that ensued in 2004 against another suspect who was long suspected to have been responsible for Etan’s disappearance, and now with this new update. Perhaps it will bring finality to the case, but I doubt that it will ever provide them with closure. My heart aches for them and other parents who are similarly situated.

Today is National Missing Children’s Day. Please keep these vanished children and their families in your thoughts.

Posted in life, nyc, parenting | Tagged , |

Sabotage


Kids reenact the Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage” to pay tribute to Adam “MCA” Yauch.

Posted in what i'm listening to | Tagged , |

Black’s Game: We are all coming from the same place

A visitor lands in Iceland for the very first time and is immediately struck by the ethereal landscape from nearly every direction. Glancing out the window as the aircraft descends towards Keflavík International Airport, one might wonder if the pilot took a detour to Mars. The land is reddish and rocky in places, with few trees to be seen at all. Driving into Reykjavík (Iceland’s capitol) from the metropolis of Keflavík, one passes a 3,000 year-old lava field covered in thick, soft moss that is comfortable enough to sleep on, and an otherwise lush, verdant landscape — or one covered in snow and ice, depending on the time of year in which one travels. Giant hilltops punctuate the scenery, which is interrupted by signs of life every now and then:  a shopping center in the middle of nowhere, a smattering of summer houses popping up along the sea, the glimmer of tiny cars parked in the distance, looking noticeably out of place. It is a surreal landscape to the distant traveler, no questions about it.

Keflavik

An airplane traveling from New York touches ground in Keflavík in the early morning, sometime around 6:20 AM GMT. Stepping off of the plane, one’s immediate inclination is to gather their luggage and find the nearest passageway that will lead them to their hotel bed for a few decent hours of rest. The airport’s signs and intercom system introduce a seemingly incomprehensible language that is anything but helpful in this moment of need. In the spring and summer, the nearly blinding Scandanavian sunlight is already beaming offensively overhead as if it were already 1 PM. In the hushed sleepiness of winter, it is cold and dark, the rain and sleet fall sideways, and the savage wind ungraciously pummels its visitors, chilling them to the bone, and sometimes pushing their cars off the road as though it were a warning. It is an immediate awareness of one’s new surroundings, and a stark revelation that things seem different here.

There is a certain estimation of this land by outsiders that is premised on notions of purity. The vast, unending openness. The sheer quantity of untouched natural space. The possibility that one might exist for weeks, months, or possibly even years without encountering even a soul. The homogeneity of the human gene pool. The ratio of sheep-to-humans. The glacier water that runs through every home’s faucets. The reality that families might all trace a common connection within seven generations. The small population speaking a language that is guarded like a priceless treasure.  The tight-knit social circles that begin during early childhood, foreclosing the need to introduce any new acquaintances later on.  The ratio of non-creatives living among a swelling sea of creatives who are known for their creating. The lack of a military  presence at all.

Keflavik

Yet underneath the emblematic characteristics that distinguish Iceland from most places, there is a fundamental lack of recognition that there might be the very same kinds of people here with the very same kinds problems as there are anywhere else on earth. The ennui and listlessness might have been prodded by its isolation and cultural distances, but the results are either creation or destruction, just as they are anywhere. Maybe they are felt a little differently within a society of 319,000, is all.

The banks, borrowing from U.S. economic theories, hedged their bets and gambled away a sum amounting to more than 10 times the nation’s GDP. There were no bailouts because there wasn’t enough money with which to bail them out. Lawyers, bankers, and politicians alike were complicit in pilfering what was left of a growing economy, until there was nothing left to take. To date, virtually no one has been charged in connection with their behaviors, which caused the nation’s unprecedented economic collapse.

Iceland from aboveRanger Rovers and iPhones are marks of economic status (or imbecility, depending on how you look at them), meant to demonstrate just how much one is willing to pay for a thing that costs much more than it ought to, when also considering added VAT and duties. Drivers are reminiscent of those on the New Jersey Parkway — brazen and senseless — but often without the savvy. Gas costs the equivalent of $9.95 per gallon, yet the presence of monstrous SUV’s is still frequent. Sex trafficking has become a common part of the news vernacular, as have sexual assaults and rape. Theft and robberies happen. Homicide happens, though less frequently than it does elsewhere. Teenagers are irreverent and foolish. Twenty-somethings drink too much.

Crime happens. Drugs happen. Drug-related crimes happen. The gang culture in Iceland has flourished over the last decade, much to Iceland’s chagrin, which is often attributed to an influx of foreigners over the last decade or so, and an increase in drug production and use. Yes, there are gangs even in Iceland, the land of miniature horses that resemble a caricatured species straight out of The Neverending Story. Most of the gangs are named after the U.S. and/or Mexican cartels and clans. There are the Hell’s Angels, the Mongols, the Bambitos, the . There are the Lithuanian, Russian, and Polish gangs, whose names I don’t know. Their headquarters are nestled in quiet neighborhoods with families and children, with signs hanging outside as though they’re just another local business. They have been known to smuggle guns into the country, where guns are generally prohibited, so that even the police don’t carry them. The increase in narcotics and marijuana production here has been attributed to the gang culture, as have the surge in amphetamine use and violence. They have been linked to robberies, money-laundering, human trafficking, and prostitution, among other things, though the accuracy of attribution and reporting here is often a subject of debate.

Svartur á leik, which translates to Black’s Game, gives us a glimpse of the Icelandic gang culture, circa 1999, though if there is one thing to take away from the movie, it is that not much has changed in the years since then. Heralded as one of Iceland’s best films in a very long time, and one that has actually been translated into English subtitles, the critics have been mostly right. The movie is set primarily in the weeks leading up to the new millennium — the ringing in of something new — and is loosely based on a series of real-life events that happened around that time, in the mid-to-late 1990′s, when the country’s gang culture went from something small and mostly comical, to a violent underground of ruthless, aimless thugs.

Svartur á leik

The main character, Stébbi “Psycho” (Thorvald David Kristjansson) falls into the world of drugs and crime after reconnecting with his childhood friend, Tóti (John Haukur Johannesson), outside of the police station in Reykjavík where he was released from following a hard night of partying downtown and a subsequent brawl. In need of a lawyer who might help get him out of possible criminal charges, Tóti, who began his career as a debt collector for a local drug ring, offers to help on the condition that Stébbi do him a favor: break into an apartment under surveillance by the police and who knows whoever else, and recover a stash of drugs that could be hidden anywhere inside. But don’t get caught. And so Stébbi begins a descent into a world in which he is expected to do all sorts of crazy things, all while he is consistently high. When the shady and notably insane Bruno (Damon Younger) returns from Denmark and walks into the picture, things get particularly strange as Tóti and Bruno decides to take over the local drug market. Stebbi quickly loses control of his life after becoming enmeshed in a series of schemes that eventually go very wrong.

In a sense, there is nothing terribly original about this movie. It is an Icelandic take on the gangster genre à la Casino or Goodfellas: there are men who fall into bad things that involve drugs and crime and greed and lunacy. There is the token female who is glamorous and objectified. It takes the pace of a violent thriller, with the soundtrack and camera direction complementing a twisted yet compelling plot. But what keeps people virtually on the edge of their seats while watching this film is not so much the plot itself as it is the slow realization — and settling stupor — that this all takes place here, that it is happening here in the place where babies are still left to sleep outside by themselves, where the longest jail sentence one can receive is 16 years, where people generally don’t kill other people.

Svartur á leik

On the one hand, the film probably overdramatizes the gang culture here, like the media and police have been accused of doing, too. If there isn’t a lot of crime going on generally, then why not focus on something that seems to be a tangible problem (example: there are gangs and drugs) in need of tangible solutions (example: police need tasers and guns to protect the citizenry), even though there hasn’t been a single shooting attributable to gang activity? On the other hand, one of the gangs’ head honchos is currently in jail for trying to sever the fingers of a woman who allegedly owed him a debt. It seems as though the next logical step would at some point involve an assault with a gun.

I image that in many places, it’s difficult to pinpoint exactly why someone joins a gang. After all, there are probably all kinds of reasons why people engage in criminal activity: boredom, desperation, mental infirmity, a dare, a need to fit in, or maybe because they’re just a jerk. Living in New York City for many years, and at one point, a couple of blocks away from a local gang in Brooklyn, I sometimes wondered whether members joined simply for the feeling of comaraderie and kinship, much like people do with fraternities on college campuses in the U.S., except that people in gangs back home tend to have less privileges in life than a college education. Or maybe it has something to do with territories and safety — an agreement to watch over one another. Perhaps it has little to do with a primary intention to engage in criminal activity at all.

In Iceland, there aren’t violent, dangerous neighborhoods with high crime rates in them. The standard of living remains quite well overall, even despite the status of the economy and the ensuing inflation. For foreigners living here, the reality can be different, although possibly better than their prior living situations to justify staying here. Still, people can attend university for cheap, and one need not worry that their medical needs won’t be covered.  It seems mostly that the activity here boils down to boredom and/or an involvement with drugs than with an acknowledgement that one’s opportunities seem unreachable. It seems to boil down to these things, but maybe it isn’t that easy to speculate.

Svartur á leikSvartur á leik is based on a novel with the same title written by Stéfan Már, who, in recent interviews, has indicated that the world depicted in the story reflects a world that is larger in scope — it defines a transitory period in Icelandic culture that went from something now reflected upon as innocent and pure to something that is considered less so, but what that means isn’t exactly clear. It wasn’t so long ago that this country was rather poor, when the living standards were significantly different than they are now, and especially different than they were in the pre-economic collapse days of 2007, when more people than many lived beyond their means, and excess became an accepted way of life.

In the last two decades in Iceland, there has been a significant diversification of the markets, with less reliance on traditional industries such as fishing and farming, and new sectors forming and evolving, like software, energy, and finance. New start-ups seem to pop up every month. In 1994, Iceland joined the EU through the EEA Agreement and, at least technically, opened its doors to foreigners from sister nations. As a result, Iceland has had one foot in the EU and one foot at home in terms of legal and regulatory matters. The financial sector has transitioned from one that is government controlled to one that is increasingly based on neo-liberal policies, creating greater friction and distance in the standards of living in this society. There are haves and there are have-nots, hierarchies of privilege, and there are those with a lesser ability to rise above their current conditions. There is an increasing sense of tension among these groups of people.

Svartur á leikIn Svartur á leik, the ringing in of a new millennium signifies the ringing in of a new reality for Iceland — a new future which, for better or for worse, has lead us to where we are now. And maybe there’s not much point in looking back anymore, because like finger pointing, where does nostalgia really get anyone? Of course, there are neuroscientists who would suggest that nostalgia is a built-in survival mechanism that our evolved brains have developed to keep us on track, to keep us motivated while longing for something that no longer exists, and its inaccessibility makes it alluring. But there is something to the way that our minds trick us into believing in something different, something more. Perhaps it’s not so much a yearning to go back, but a way of making sense of the present by understanding how we’ve dealt with difficulties in the past, and even surmounted them. But as time moves on, the past has limited utility in guiding us, because there are new variables introduced to our lives, like the way cloned animals become distant replicas of their original selves. That’s not to say that we should accept gun culture and violence as though they are as common as the schizophrenic arctic weather. No. But we also cannot pretend that things will ever be the same again, and that moving forward isn’t the only path to be taken.

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Posted in icelandic culture, immigrant, life, movies, writing | Tagged , , , |

Icelandic cinema comes to NYC

Yesterday, I stumbled upon a link to this Icelandic film festival that starts today at Lincoln Center in New York City. If you’re in the area and looking for something interesting to do this weekend, I highly recommend checking it out. Many of the directors will be there in person, presumably for Q&A after their movies, which is an added treat. Admittedly, I haven’t seen many of these films, but can highly recommend Angels of the Universe (showing on Sunday) and Noí the Albino (showing on Saturday).

Posted in icelandic culture, movies, nyc | Tagged , , , , |

Gleðilegt sumar!

Reykjavik HarborToday is officially the first day of summer, according to Icelanders. I guess if you have only two seasons per year, it’s about time to change one of them. People mostly had off from work today, which turned brought us beautiful, sunny window weather, as there has been nearly all week — the kind that you surmise from inside your warm, cozy apartment and then step outside into surprising coldness. The sun is so strong and bright right now throughout the day, that our place starts to feel like a greenhouse, deceptively making it seem warmer outside.

Traditionally, this day is a lot like Groundhog’s Day in the U.S., except that the prediction is for whether or not there will be a pleasant summer, which is determined by whether or not there is a frost the night before. If the temperatures freeze a bowl of water left outside, then it’s considered good luck. Rest assured, the temperatures reached the freezing mark last night, and so we are surely headed into a summer replete with good weather and warm temperatures. Time to get out the shorts!

Personally, I’m not sure whether we should be celebrating “summer” so much as we should be happy that we’ve made it through the winter, which was exceptionally brutal this year with record snowfalls and frigid temperatures.

On a personal note, the last few weeks have been exceptionally busy, as I was offered a full-time position, and am currently working both jobs part-time through the end of the month. I feel very fortunate to have found this work, given how difficult it seems to be for foreigner to find jobs here, irrespective of their educational backgrounds and skill sets, and that I will also remain as a consultant at the old place. I’m not sure how it will all work out while trying to also spend as much time with Rúbý as I can, but I feel grateful to at least have options. In my day off today, however, I was able to catch up on my New Yorker magazines, go for a run, and take Rúbý on a bit of an adventure outside, so I’m feeling rather rejuvenated right now. It may not technically be summer according to my northeastern U.S. mindset, but there is no doubt that the added sunlight to our days seems to be bringing some added goodness with it.

Posted in icelandic culture, life | Tagged , , , |

Didion

“I’m not telling you to make the world better, because I don’t think that progress is necessarily part of the package. I’m just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To try to get the picture. To live recklessly. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it. To seize the moment. And if you ask me why you should bother to do that, I could tell you that the grave’s a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. Nor do they sing there, or write, or argue, or see the tidal bore on the Amazon, or touch their children. And that’s what there is to do and get it while you can and good luck at it.”

–Joan Didion, in a 1975 commencement address at the University of California, Riverside.

Posted in random quotes | Tagged |

Good morning, America, how are you?

I don’t typically feel terribly homesick on a day-to-day basis. My pangs of nostalgia, yearning, and lust for things ranging from missing my family and friends back home terribly to seriously craving the avocado and cheese sandwich and homemade lemonade from Café Habana in NYC ebb and flow like most emotions do. On Sundays, I often wish that I could teleport myself to Brooklyn for brunch and bloody marys with my sister, but I don’t dwell on it.

Sometimes, though, the sight or sound of something seemingly out of place here raises my sense of longing and, and, I don’t know… loyalty to my roots… than I typically seem to have. Spotting a car in the parking lot at work with Ohio license plates the other day suddenly seemed normal, as though I had entered any other parking lot attached to any shopping center in America, until just as suddenly, it seemed completely out of place. Like, how did this enormous SUV suddenly appear in Iceland, because surely, it had to have been transported here by ship, and that is prohibitively expensive, so who are these people and what are they doing here from Ohio? And that moment of shifting from what felt like something completely normal to what felt out of place sparked an ache in my stomach, triggered by — I’m not sure what — an attachment to something that felt familiar and then an immediate disconnection from it in that moment of realization, I suppose.

Last week, on a particularly difficult day, I went out to the car during lunchtime, and as I turned on the radio, Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” came on the station. I found myself cranking up the sound so loudly, that anyone within earshot would have likely thought I had lost my mind. Granted, it’s a good song, but in that moment, it felt so comforting to hear for some reason.

Likewise, I heard Arlo Guthrie’s song “New Orleans” on the radio this morning while heading out to work. I have no personal connection to New Orleans, but the song is a testament to the passage of time and to classic American folk songs that somehow maintain a presence in our collective conscience. Arlo Guthrie, the son of folk legend Woody Guthrie — the man who gave us “This Land is Your Land” — carried the musical torch that his father handed down to him, and gave us folk songs that we could identify with — as a nation, I suppose.

There’s always talk about loyalty in the US — loyalty to the “country,” mainly, but not to each other as a cohesive fabric, a quilt made from numerous shapes, segments, and colors that are beautifully patched together into intricate, delicate, and complex patterns, such that even the irregularities are magnificent. Now the stitching has simply fallen apart, and there doesn’t seem to be enough thread to fix it.

Since moving to Iceland, I’m not sure where to call “home” anymore. I have two homes, in the sense that they are places I am connected to, even if I don’t feel that I particularly belong in either of them. After all, at what point do we feel we actually belong someplace? Is it the moment we feel that we cannot live without it? Or is it merely a sense of familiarity that makes us feel at peace with our surroundings?

I can’t imagine leaving this place behind, but I also can’t imagine ever not missing my home in the US. Right now, as I type this, I feel pangs of longing to see my parents, to hug them, and tell them that I love them in person. I miss entering a store and hearing a welcoming, beaming “Hello!” from the person at the counter, or the familiarity of overhearing fragments from other people’s conversations while walking down the street.  I miss the bustling, often frenetic pace of New York at times, and the in-your-face-realness of it all. And I’m not sure that that is something that easily goes away. So for now, I’ll get my quick fixes on the radio.

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